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Movie Review: Dirty Grandpa (2016)

on February 13, 2016

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How the Tribal War God El Became the Trinity of Christianity

The Canaanite storm god El Photo credit: University of Chicago It is so very easy to see how the foundation was laid for monotheism to arise out of early pagan polytheism. One need only look at the name "El." El was the tribal storm god of the Canaanite peoples and head of a panoply of many lower gods. Consider that the general name in the Bible for "God" is "Elohim." It can refer to God, gods, or judges and rulers (Exodus 22:28). With the primacy of this deity established, it isn't hard to see how the early Canaanite-turned-Israelite tribe during the reign of only-one-sun-god-worshipping Pharaoh Akhenaten got its start. This further solidified the evolution of Moses' Yahweh who spoke to Moses in a burning bush that was not consumed (Exodus 3:1-17). Consider that at this time, the Jews worshipped the wild boar as Osiris worshippers proudly did, which later led to the known sect called Israelites forbidding the consumption of swine (Leviticus 11:7)

Movie Review | The Boogieman (2023)

There are perfectly good reasons as to why people are perpetually scared of the dark, and I don't just mean children. In The Boogeyman , we get to re-explore these reasons. You get to do that here as an adult because you wouldn’t dream of throwing this film on a kid. It just wouldn't be right. Spirits persecuting grieving loved ones who had someone close to them pass away may seem a bit worn out, but it’s fertile ground for the taking when we are talking boogeyman. This rendition of the boogeyman is not any less scary than the ones that came before it. It might be scarier. And just like boogeymen of yesteryear, this one - inspired by Stephen King - exploits slow-to-come-around-to-believing parents, much to the frustration of audiences. Early on, we are introduced to a fractured family of a father and two daughters who are trying to put the pieces back together again after the death of their mother (Shauna Rappold - Deep Water , 2022). Their oldest daughter, portrayed by Soph

Movie Review | Shazam! Fury of the Gods (2023)

Since no film with Lucy Lui in it can be too bad and since it appears that teen-targeting superhero films will not be dying out in the near future, we look to Shazam! Fury of the Gods for at least some fun, action, and stimulation. But sadly, in the vast and ever-expanding realm of dime-a-dozen superhero movies, Shazam! Fury of the Gods emerges as yet another cheap and colorful thrill that is easily had and easily forgotten. This one certainly falls behind the first film in more ways than one. This second entry, with its blend of heart, humor, and electrifying action sequences, directed by David F. Sandberg ( Shazam! , 2019, Annabelle: Creation , 2017) wants to be a simple “good time” at the movies, especially for younger, less discerning audience members. Building on the success of its predecessor, Shazam! (2019), this film takes our elect characters on a new adventure as they face two formidable new threats (Lucy Liu as "Kalypso" and Helen Mirren as "Hespera")

Movie Review | Blue Beetle (2023)

Blue Beetle has been without a doubt one of the most anticipated superhero films of the year. Directed by Ángel Manuel Soto (known for The Farm , 2015) and written by Gareth Dunnet-Alcocer (known Miss Bala , 2019), the film follows the journey of “Jaime Reyes,” played by the talented Xolo “ Cobra Kai ” Maridueña. Xolo discovers a strange blue device in the form of a scarab (a dung beetle). As this mystical alien device from history takes control of his body, Jaime must learn to harness his newfound powers and become the hero that his neighborhood needs. It will become relevant later that Reyes’ all-Spanish family is poor and about to get kicked out of their house. He just needs a job to help pay the bills, which leads him to “Jenny Kord” (Bruno Marquezine). His crazy-eccentric uncle (George Lopez) and other family members constantly cackle at each other in loud Spanish diatribes over all sorts of things. We are forced to see it time and again. As the Cobra Kai franchise is sputterin

God’s Entrapment and James’ Idiocy

It's one of the worst blunders in the scriptures, and it comes from James, writer of the New Testament. He says: “Let no man say when he is tempted, I am tempted of God: for God cannot be tempted with evil, neither tempteth he any man.” (James 1:13) Studying the New Testament without the blinders of Christian dogma on reveals that James – like that sadly ignorant writer of the gospel of Matthew – had no idea of the things he was saying. James says that God doesn’t tempt men to do evil. God doesn’t want to see us fall. He’s not going to do anything about it if we do fall, but he wants us to prosper, and he’s not going to tempt us to do “evil.” The abovementioned Bible quote would be nothing but another pious passage, were it not for the fact that James is wrong and that his statement creates a contradiction with the Old Testament. God does for sure try (test, tempt, all good words) men. Genesis has God tempting a man, his servant Abraham: “And it came to pass after these

Movie Review | The Equalizer 3 (2023)

In The Equalizer 3 , the covert crime-fighting game gets taken to Southern Italy in this highly anticipated third and final installment of The Equalizer franchise. Director Antoine Fuqua ( Olympus has Fallen , 2014) once again teams up with the talented Denzel Washington to deliver a thrilling and action-packed experience that falls back on Washington’s cold, calculating gaze and awesome training as a retired special ops field agent that we just can’t get enough of. As local crime bosses in Southern Italy begin to exert force, we find "Robert McCall" (Washington) recovering from an injury and at a low point in life. From the very beginning, the film grabs the viewers' attention with its stunning cinematography, capturing the picturesque landscapes of Italy. The vibrant colors and breathtaking scenery serve as a stark contrast to the dark and sinister underworld that Robert McCall finds himself in. The visual juxtaposition adds to the tension and heightens the stakes, maki

Movie Review: 12/12/12 (2012)

The Asylum Runtime: 1 hour, 26 minutes Rated: R (for bloody violence, sexual content, nudity, language) Director: Jared Cohn Writer: Jared Cohn Starring: Sara Malakul Lane, Jesus Guevara, Steve Hanks Horror This year’s “Most Tasteless Horror Movie” award goes to the same movie that gets the “Most Non-scary Horror Movie” award, as well as any other awards of disdain I may pull out of my hat and feel the need to give. And yes, I am taking into account that we are talking here about a direct-to-DVD work rather than a big-budgeter. The movie is an apocalyptic horror film based on the date 12/12/12, which is the birth date of Satan’s fleshly incarnation. Less than ten days later (12/21/12), a young antichrist child will be ready to step up and rule the world. It’s another “evil baby” movie, but it at least tries to go in a new direction. At the movie’s start, we watch as an almost totally nude female is tied to an alter and is rubbed down with oil of some kind before having her stom

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Movie Review: Dirty Grandpa (2016)

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